39th: The Recreation of Haruhi Suzumiya
[It's been sort of a long path, but Haruhi Suzumiya has a... something. She's still hesitating around the word "boyfriend," but someone she is seeing in something sort of resembling a romantic capacity (SSISISSORARC). They were "test running" in October, she was avoiding him in November, and in December, they've been taking it slow. Hanging out more, going out to places, having some meals together...
And now, well, Haruhi decides she wants to mix it up some. So in the morning today she does her usual "throw rocks at Minato's window until he comes outs" and then he's dragged along out into the forest with an ax and ordered the chop down a Christmas tree for her house. She's not really done this weird Western custom all that much before, it it sounded fun to try out this year, particularly with a SSISISSORARC to chop down the tree, lug it to house ten, and then prop it up inside before they go out to collect things to put on it, and finally, decorate with.
Honestly, this might seem like slave labor, but the indicative thing about it is that this happens on a Sunday. She called Winry to apologize and say they should hang out more in the next week but she's cancelling on "their" day a few days before, but didn't give Minato notice about this. If he realizes what she's implying or not is up in the air -the meaning is pretty elusive.
This is a joint post with Minato (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
emp3thy), and you can run into them many places, but some examples are:
1) Going out into the forest in the morning to chop down the tree... and the time Minato needs to spend chopping when they find it.
2) Coming back with the tree in the later morning and bringing it to House 10
3) Collecting decorations for the tree from the item shop around mid-day and bringing them back to House 10
4) Decorating the tree in the early afternoon at House 10 (this one is prob just for House 10)
5) Going out to a late lunch after skipping two meals aside from snacks after that, at Seventh Heaven and lamenting the variety of places to go for this
Or whatever else between those you can spawn up]
And now, well, Haruhi decides she wants to mix it up some. So in the morning today she does her usual "throw rocks at Minato's window until he comes outs" and then he's dragged along out into the forest with an ax and ordered the chop down a Christmas tree for her house. She's not really done this weird Western custom all that much before, it it sounded fun to try out this year, particularly with a SSISISSORARC to chop down the tree, lug it to house ten, and then prop it up inside before they go out to collect things to put on it, and finally, decorate with.
Honestly, this might seem like slave labor, but the indicative thing about it is that this happens on a Sunday. She called Winry to apologize and say they should hang out more in the next week but she's cancelling on "their" day a few days before, but didn't give Minato notice about this. If he realizes what she's implying or not is up in the air -the meaning is pretty elusive.
This is a joint post with Minato (
emp3thy), and you can run into them many places, but some examples are:1) Going out into the forest in the morning to chop down the tree... and the time Minato needs to spend chopping when they find it.
2) Coming back with the tree in the later morning and bringing it to House 10
3) Collecting decorations for the tree from the item shop around mid-day and bringing them back to House 10
4) Decorating the tree in the early afternoon at House 10 (this one is prob just for House 10)
5) Going out to a late lunch after skipping two meals aside from snacks after that, at Seventh Heaven and lamenting the variety of places to go for this
Or whatever else between those you can spawn up]
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Yeah, okay. Well, I'm glad to have inspired you. But it looks like you don't even need assistance with your holiday projects, actually. Not any more assistance.
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I don't really feel like assembling a terrorist weapon while you two're sitting in front of the fire, drinking champagne, that's all.
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I am your Brigade Chief. I am your leader. That is all that matters when it comes to matters of the SOS-Brigade. Or are you somehow confused about that?
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> You have a dangerous choice to make...
Try to intervene anyway
> Let Haruhi do her thing
> ...You decide it's smarter to watch how this plays out a little longer...]
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So is this [he points two fingers at them and swivels them around in a connecting way] a matter for the Brigade? Or is that Brigade totally separate from your personal life now? I mean, what exactly are we to you now? A project group, not a group of friends? Maybe it's "none of my business" again? That's fine, but I'm not in it for that.
And you. Arisato. Shouldn't you know better?
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[Jab, jab, jab] Do you want me to say "you're my friend," Kyon? Because if you need that, I'm mature enough to say it!
[She keeps pushing into him, not caring if she's making a no doubt obvious scene in public]
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But let's just get to it. Is that what I want? Is that what I can be satisfied by? Put another way, is it okay to answer that "Haruhi is my closest buddy here" and forget about it forever? Because no matter how many times you answer some questions they seem to keep coming back, don't they? If it's a door whose latch is broken, no matter how many times you close it, it might sneak ajar again. So unless you just bust it open or you bar it closed, it'll keep causing trouble for you.
Once more. It's been a year. Enough for me to be totally comfortable here once again. And several for her. Enough for her to now look like she's "Haruhi (big)". (Except there was a "Haruhi (small)" already, wasn't there? As always, that just leaves Haruhi as Haruhi.) I didn't learn anything as quickly as things usually happen. Koizumi hasn't even been here to explain anything to me, except mentally, which is annoying enough, but I could use him here right now as the devil on my shoulder which tells me:
No, it's not enough. No, I'll even cause problems myself if it's just a matter of Haruhi being my friend. If Haruhi was just my friend, at home, anyway, it would be a lot easier to answer that question from the start. There's just no way to misconstrue that, even pissed off as I am. Or maybe especially as pissed off as I am.
Ah, but as for the angel on my shoulder, Asahina-san, what do you have to say?
"Kyon-kuuuuuun... We mustn't..."
Wait! Let's not get carried away! The question was--could even the most glowing angel flying in the firmament of heaven dissuade me from this path? And simply put, she never has, has she? With sad eyes, she urges me on, but that only serves to make me want to stay more. But even with that, I don't do it. I still can't explain it, but I just know that's not what the universe had had in store for us. Who's running that universe? I don't know anymore. It's obviously different now, but I haven't changed. Which happens too often. Next time, if you change the universe, just let me go with it...
But what do I do here? I can't stop playing the game, but is the game at a Bad End? Quit, reload, but doesn't matter what I do, the outcome is the same?
I guess I don't get it. I guess I still don't know for sure if it's true. It sure would be stupid to haul off over something that's not even happening, wouldn't it. Except it is happening.'
The anger mostly goes out of him, but not the seriousness.]
...No, that's not what it is. Not what I want or need.
It is nice, though. Thanks.
[Full of some false, burning buoyancy, he starts to turn around, back to the axes, intending to go cut down a tree after all.]
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Especially when she's riled up enough to actually call someone her friend.
And then as soon as it began, the argument ends. Or did it? Something just happened here, some kind of declaration beyond Haruhi's and Kyon's directly. And it doesn't take 'Genius' level Knowledge to extrapolate. 'I'm not in it for that. That's not what I want or need.'
He could say something about telling someone how you feel when you feel it, or else don't be disappointed when the chance is lost. But, he was stuck for so long in the same place Kyon is now that it doesn't seem fair. It's true, but not fair to point it out. He puts his hands back in his pockets.]
If you need some help with that...
[This isn't so much an actual offer to chop down the tree as it is an offer to talk, away from Haruhi, if that's what Kyon wants. Or not.
It's his choice.]
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But then, he is from the future. Maybe--
That's not fair. This whole thing isn't fair. Her eyes go from something shocked to something distant in a flash, and the fight ebbs out of her. Because really, what could be said - "I was in love with you," "we dated for a year and you don't remember it," "you left and I never got closure," "I found closure by falling in love again," "I betrayed that person I fell in love with, three times," and "finally, that person I loved broke my heart again." Heartbreak after heartbreak and one failed romance stacked on top of another. She's gone through so much of it, and she realizes now jut how little of it all she's shared with this Kyon. Sharing it now, throwing it at the back of his head, would be so simple. And yet... she can't bring herself to move.
It's cold outside. It's cold, but it should be raining. Instead, she just stares, distantly, at Kyon.]
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That said, he looks the axes over, then, for reasons he's not sure of, briefly nods at Minato. If he wants to talk, they'll talk. He grabs an ax and heads for the door.]
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[She finally gets that out, and she just breaks away from both boys to flee. Maybe she'll be stopped or maybe she'll get back to them,but right now, she's going to retreat to go ... lay down, or something]
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But when Haruhi tries to break away, his first instinct is to call after her.] Hey -
[And then his actual thoughts catch up, and he stops. If she needs space now, she should have it. There'll be time to talk things out.] ...I'll see you later.
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Time to face the inevitably awkward man-to-man talk. Minato ends up the last to exit, following Kyon towards the woods.]
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Minato isn't particularly good at breaking silences. He's good at listening, and saying what needs to be said and nothing else extraneous. Starting the conversation, especially one like this, is more difficult.
Where should he start? "I'm sorry." He's not. Not for what Kyon would want him to be. "I didn't know." That's mostly true. He knew about Haruhi's relationship with the past Kyon - or well, Haruki's with Kyonko's - but that was a Luceti relationship, and so, didn't necessarily mean anything here. "If I'd known, I wouldn't have made a move."
That... he can't decide. Objectively, yes. The kindest thing to do in that situation would be to step aside and let Kyon have his chance. Kyon and Haruhi are from the same world. They may not have the long Luceti history, but it's tangled with fewer experiments and besides, whenever this situation ends they'll be back where they belong together.
Minato doesn't have that future to offer her. Just a present.
But more subjectively, and selfishly... he doesn't care. He did make a move and she'd accepted. He's given up a lot of things over his lifetime - sometimes voluntarily, and sometimes not so much. Luceti by its very nature will continue to take the people he cares about. He's come to accept that much. But he's also decided that makes the present even more important. He's not ready to give this relationship up deliberately before seeing where it might go.
If Kyon wants to challenge his decision, he'll have to face that conviction.]
Look. [.....] I asked her out about two months ago. It took her that long to really make up her mind.
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He unwedges the ax, wrenching it free, swinging it lightly, and he takes a few steps away from Minato, staring up into the sky.
He's monologued out. There's going to be none of that here.
Finally, he turns back, not looking at Minato.]
I had more or less a year to say something at home, right? That what you think?
[He hefts the ax up and nearly launches it into the tree at the same spot as before. It doesn't sink much deeper.]
Then I had a year to say something here?
[He shakes his head, letting go of the ax.]
No.
I know what she is. That means there can't be anything else there at home. It's an imbalance of power one way or another. Don't tell her, and I'm always guilty of knowing too much. Tell her, and suddenly there's nothing anyone can do to stop her, not even herself.
A little different here, isn't it? Sure, maybe. Then there was Rockbell. Then there was figuring out who she's become after all this time in this place. There's all of these things which she never shared or wanted to share with me. Most of which I only found out from Shiki. I guess there are boxes more hidden away somewhere. I couldn't get her to spill much of it. Kind of puts a damper on it.
So the question is. Do you know better than me? Or do you know jack shit, like it appears, and you just go off on whatever you feel like at the moment?
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But taking no risks had also gotten him nowhere at all. And it hadn't helped her, either. Haruhi doesn't need someone standing on the sidelines, unable to leave her be but afraid to step in. That kind of person doesn't even register in her world.
It's not fair, but the simple fact of the situation is that Minato took action, and Kyon didn't.]
She doesn't want to share those things because they hurt her. I do know about some of them, because I ended up involved, one way or another. There's probably more things that bother her that I don't know. I don't know that much about her life on Earth, and I didn't know about her powers until you told me.
But honestly, I don't care. Knowing that hasn't changed anything. Neither would anything else she might suddenly say.
[...he takes a breath.]
So, yes. If you let yourself care so much about what she is and what she's done that you couldn't ask her out, then I do know better than you.
[It's extremely direct. But this isn't a conversation for niceties and veiled intentions.]
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I told you you're an X-factor, didn't I? Yeah. Exactly because of that. Why do you want what you want? What's going on behind that blank asshole face? Does she even know? "Everyone has parts of themselves that they keep hidden." How many goddamn "personas" are you hiding behind? What is it that you know better than me?
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[.....] ...Her personality's not normal, but she is.
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No. That's not new to anyone.
You know what your sister told me? "You're a lot like my brother. You both accommodate people." That can go pretty far with some people. Maybe a lot of people. All they need is someone to listen or say nice things, think whatever they want but stick to the nice things. And it's kind of the same, but it's more different with her. There's something else, something mixed up with traditions and time loops and all that messy crap. Abnormal, normal, yeah, I can see all of that. It's got something to it -- but -- she's more than that.
Haruhi is just... Haruhi.
['...
Fuck.
And I'm John Smith.
...Again.']
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[except replace 'Kyon' with his real name because that's what he used.
And then he pauses, because how can he explain himself? He can't. There's no magical "nice thing" to say in this situation.]
Minako's right. I accommodate people. I've accommodated Haruhi for a long time and so have you. I know you really care about her, and maybe you would be better for her in the long run. I don't know.
But... I'm not going to accommodate you this time. Because I care about her, too.
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['Additionally, would never ask it from you, asshole. Boring asshole to boot.
...Yes, I also called him a "good guy" at the same time. Someone can be a boring asshole and a good guy at the same time, right? I mean, I still think it's true. At least it's reawakening my inner monologue.']
I think she's probably got more to say about that than me. That's not the point.
['Which is what again? Mostly that I predict a screwup in short order. And... Well, I don't actually want that.']
...We'll have to see.
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