godbent | 44th: The Catastrophe of Haruhi Suzumiya

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44th: The Catastrophe of Haruhi Suzumiya

[ Haruhi gets up early today, like she does every day. The first thing she does is get Sekai's room open so he can free roam the house. After that, she feeds Pogo and gets to work making breakfast. Frankly, it's more than a little awkward to be cooking for four, particularly because though she's never been as close as she probably should be with Rhyme or Beat, she really doesn't know how to handle them since Rhyme died in the draft. But still, they're Shiki's friends, and Shiki's her best friend. She insisted, and here she is.

Sigh.

It's a Sunday, so she might do something with Winry today, particularly now that she thinks the girl's boyfriend is back to normal...? That whole thing with the monster animals was odd, she doesn't even know for sure because she's been disconnected. Ever since Minato decided to up and vanish just as she was resolved to like him, and resolved to date him in spite of the complications with Kyon. And he leaves, leaving her with a letter that says "I'm sorry," finally apologizing - post mortem - for all the trouble he caused her.

Or maybe she's just been domestic, going through the motions, lately.

There's another matter though, that she hasn't seen a few members of her Brigade in a while. Oswald fell behind on Hydra Social and she meant to order someone else to handle it, so she thinks of him first. But Kyon's been laying low too... the more callous part of her casually hopes he hasn't been kidnapped (again). As it is, once she finishes the miso and the rice, instead of making the next dish, she decides she'll just go check on Oswald's apartment. She didn't do a morning run yet anyway. So she goes to knock on Shiki's door, feeling something is weird about the hallway and--

It's when she opens the door that she realizes what is so wrong. All her designs which has begun to clutter the walls of the hallway leading to their rooms are gone. The stuff in her room is gone. She is gone.

The next hour or so is a blurr. Rhyme or Beat probably woke up, and maybe she tried to ping Neku only to find that the filter broke and he's no longer here either. She doesn't care about either of those, she only cares about that empty room, and that he best friend is gone. And what's worse, she left a treasure trove of stuff. A small box's worth in her room filled with letters (hah, at least a third of these are for her) and then clothes and other things in the back room of All Passions. (hah).

It's mid-afternoon by the time she collects herself and all but insists she handle this-]

[Voice]

[Her voice is more ragged than usual, but also dull. It's lacking in vibrancy to a degree she hasn't really felt since... when? Maybe the break up, a little over a year ago.]

Shiki Misaki's back in Shibuya now, and I'm pretty sure Neku is too. [She feels like there was a third person-- oh who cares] Shiki's got a ton of stuff because she was stupid and sentimental like that, so if you knew her, you probably got something from her. [How can she end this. She hasn't even cried yet, reall-- oh, duh]

Joshua, don't you dare reply to this.

[There, over.

If you want action, Haruhi'll be up on the roof of House 10, one of her prime moping spots, most of the day. She can also see people going to get stuff Shiki left them at House 10 from there too]

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[ dammit. shiki'd been here even before her. and had been a stalwart presence through so much.

but buffy doesn't know how to express her grief, so she speaks almost mechanically: ] There should be a rack...at All Passions. It has my name on it. It's still there?

Yeah.

[Just, simply]

It's...no problem if I come to collect it, right?

How would I even stop you? Come on, shut up and just go get it.

[Sure, the key to the place was for Rhyme but hell if she cares right now]

You could stop me by asking me not to. I can't imagine why you would, but I'd respect if if you did.

I said shut up and go get it.

Fine.

[ she closed the book with a gentle nudge. veteran disappearances rocked many of them in different ways, and buffy wasn't going to push the topic if it wasn't welcome. she's too personally distraught to try and continue a one-sided conversation. ]

[Haruhi breathes out something she's not sure of the origin of - relief, anxiety, anger? - when Buffy drops it, settling into her seat on the roof of her house. Because God knows, Buffy Summers is not someone she wants to discuss her best friend vanishing with. She doesn't want her self-righteous viewpoint or whatever shallow (because indeed, it had to be shallow, right?) image of Shiki she had--

...Whatever. It's good riddance, anyway]

[ Haruhi sounded terrible. Serenity contemplates on whether or not she should say anything, before finally replying. Her voice is a little quiet, and concerned, but warm. ]

Need someone to talk to? [ Luceti never changed. People would come, people would go, and it wouldn't ever not hurt. ]

No. [Ugh, ugh, ugh. Stupid Usagi. Stupid older USagi who she barely even knows. Stupid people, stupid sympathy]

['Well, I'll definitely stop by. She might easily have left me something, after all. I mean, I don't know if we were that close, but we shared a certain bond. And we were friends. Right?'

He might, however, be less concerned about whatever Shiki left for him than looking around to see wherever Haruhi.. 'Probably is sulking.']

[Sulking's a good word - sulking up on the roof of her house, sitting in a fold out chair there. she should be messing with the telescope, but it isn't really sundown yet. She considered tanning, but she wasn't in the mood. so she's just sitting up there with a glass of water]

[Spotting her from outside, he just examines the situation for a while.

'Definitely sulking.'

He ventures to call out a:]

Yo, Haruhi.

['It's been a while, really. What with my for-once successful attempts at keeping a low profile through the most recent experiment, I feel like I'm turning into some low-energy character from an anime.']

[Kyon... She hasn't had a solid conversation with him in a while, and Winry's words about him echo in the back of her head. She doesn't want to talk to anyone, but if she had to talk to someone, because they would bug her...

...Honestly, it'd be Shiki. But Shiki isn't here anymore.]

Take the step ladder up, it's right there.

[Next to the front door, where it always is]

['Of course, the stepladder. Because I guess she makes a habit out of sulking on the roof.'

He nods and climbs the ladder, pausing as he reaches the top to glance out at the view before hopping off onto the roof and evaluating her expression.

'...Annnd I guess I'm just going to sit quietly for a second, too.']

[Her face is lightly pensive, a million miles away. She's not really looking at anything in particular, she's just sitting in a lawn chair, looking out at the horizon over the forest and sipping water. Hah]

[His instinct is to let it sit again, as he often does, until she's ready to say something. However, since he's here for a reason, too, he decides to speak up after a while.]

She left stuff behind, huh?

[Tch] Yeah, a mountain of stuff, between here and at her shop. Some of it was under the bed, some in the closet, and some in the back room where Minato [Tch] used to develop photos.

Right. I guess she would have had a lot of stuff, being here all this time.

[He sighs a little. 'It really is too bad.']

...So, are you thinking of leaving now, too?

No. [It's a simple answer, really. Of course not, she has stuff to see through now]

Just as well. [He kicks back, with a false casualness about his manner.]

... And you're holding up?

[Don't take him fro granted, huh. She doesn't want to answer that truthfully, but after a light sigh, she decides to answer with some segment of the truth]

I don't know. She's been my best friend for years now, so how should I hold up? It's stupid.

Yeah. And you don't get used to it, either. Or if you do... that's worse.

['At least when people move away, there's some kind of foreknowledge. And communication. At least, presuming they're not "moving to Canada."']

...I do wish there was something I could do.

It's not like you can make some stupid promise about not leaving. Even when you do, it's just something you really can't control.

[Like that promise I made to Winry]

Well, yeah.

...I guess all you can promise to do is make the best of it while you're here.

Yeah, I guess. [But that's so ... transitive. Far more than she'd like, particularly because, if she's going to keep going home and coming back, she wants to see this all through]

...It's stupid, though, making that many letters and arranging that many gifts. It had to take hours.

Well, we've got nothing but time here. Anyway, her whole thing here was making things. And don't you think it's nice to get some closure?

What closure?

[She says this darkly. Probably a little bitterly] Sure, this version of Shiki's gone, but who knows. she might be back in three months. Or Two years. Or maybe a Shiki with different memories will show up in seven months.

So then it's closure from this Shiki. If she's back... well, it's something new whether it's her with her memories or not. New things will happen to us in between, so... it'll be different. This is still closure on our shared time together.

[She's silent for a long while, but when she does speak again, it's after a small snort. It's in a more amused tone when she says -] What, was that supposed to be deep?

[But she does appreciate it. As she is, she couldn't have come to a conclusion like that. And it's a more pleasant one than things she was dwelling on]

...Nah. I don't know how to be deep or anything like that.

[He eyes her briefly, gauging that reaction, before shrugging again.]

Good, because that wasn't deep at all.

[In somewhat better humor than she was in a moment ago. Just a moment ago]

Noted. Got it on the record already. Super shallow.

[But after that, Haruhi decides to go silent again, but this time smiling just a little. Yeah, it hurts that Shiki is gone - it hurts a lot - but maybe it's all the better for her. ...And if it's not, she just won't focus on it]

Haruhi? [ She knows this is hard. It's already been hard for her with Spock (temporarily) and Robin (not so much). ] Where are you? Can I bring you some cider?

[The... pony member of her Brigade. She exhales lightly and-] No. I've got this.

I know how hard it can be to lose a friend here. You don't have to go through it on your own.

[There's a pause. She doesn't want to get into this now, but she can feel her temper welling a little and-]

What do you know?! You've been here, what, two months?! Four?!

Yeah, and I haven't seen three of my best friends in that long, and friends here keep leaving...

And I've been here for over four years. [Her temper is raising, and because of that, her voice gets colder]

[ Twilight wants to say how she thinks length of time doesn't matter when you've lost somepony, but... she can't. Not to that. ] Oh, Haruhi.

I'm so sorry, I just... I want to help.

["And I don't want to hear it!" ... Is what she would have said four years ago, and honestly, it would be way easier to say it now. As it is, she exhales and tries to cool down. She's grown here, right? She likes to boast about it, so... she might as well show it]

I know.

[A beat]

Ugh, look, if you insist on the cider or whatever, I'm at my house. House 10.

I'll be right over.

[ And she is, carrying two mugs of hot cider telekinetically. She knocks twice on the door. ] Haruhi?

[She's not inside - she's on the roof of the house. She hears the knocking, sighs a little to herself, and without getting up from the sunchair she's sitting in, calls down from the roof-]

There's a step ladder.

Oh! [ Twilight notices it next to her and cranes her head up. There's Haruhi. She flies up to meet her, and floats the cider over to her. ]

You might want to blow on it a little.

Right. [It's too hot for this, it's the middle of spring. ...She was expecting cold cider. Well, whatever. She takes it and just stares at it]

[ She sits quietly with Haruhi for a while. Eventually she tentatively opens a wing, offering it to Haruhi if she wants the comfort. ]

[She doesn't want it. Or well, maybe she should want to do it. But... no, she doesn't. She sighs and goes to take her first sip of the cider, making no real movement to push her away or lean in]

[ Twilight can't say she wasn't expecting Haruhi not to take the silent offer, but she leaves her wing open anyway, leaving the option open. ]

What do you remember about them?

[A sharp glare comes out of the corner of her eyes at what she hears as a stupid question. But then she closes her yes, dismisses that, and sighs]

A lot of stupid stuff. We lived together for years.

[ Twilight paws at the roof. She's not feeling very helpful yet but she's also not sure what else to say. ]

Maybe you could write some of it down. Before you forget it. There's probably a lot of details you'll forget, a week from now.

What, so you've entirely forgotten your friends from back home?

[There's some bite in there, but mostly, it's just flat, as she sips the cider again. Way too hot]

[ Twilight spots Haruhi's grimace, and Haruhi's mug glows magenta thanks to Twilight. The cider's temperature lowers by a few degrees. ]

When you're not interacting with somepony on a daily basis, you'd be surprised how many little things you forget. Anyway, maybe it would help.

So basically, you did forget. [Ugh] Whatever, I know what you're talking about but it's not going to be a problem.

Not most things! Not the important things.

...Will they be at home when you leave here?

[...Oh, she's- Pfft. Haruhi snorts at that and rolls her eyes] If she does, she'll be younger than me and in a different city. Besides, I don't really intend to leave here randomly.

Yeah, the Squad needs you.

Maybe she'll come back some day. It's happened before.

Brigade. [And she just reaches over to casually flick Twilight's head]

[ Twilight attempts to dodge Haruhi's hand and fails, then flicks her tail at Haruhi in return. ]

My point is that there are still people for you here. Ponies too.

Why are you differentiating there?

[Ewww horse hair in her face]

... Because I'm not a human? I guess the difference is sort of moot in a world where turtles talk and you all are used to riding on creatures that look like me.

"Person" can mean a lot more than just human, I think.

Where do you draw the line?

Something which isn't a person, duh.

Seems like a bit of a tautological definition, doesn't it?

No, it seems egalitarian.

[ Twilight smiles at Haruhi's stubbornness and is distinctly reminded of Pinkie Pie. She rises to her hooves. ]

I should get back to the library. Helios has me on the afternoon and evening shifts. But you can call me if you want more... cider.

I will, don't worry. [She won't, but it's well enough to reassure the pony. She takes one more sip there to seem more into it than she is, and even gives her a little nod to approving]

Okay. Take care, Haruhi. [ She spreads her wings and flies off in the direction of the library. ]

[There is no point in her sending a message over the journal. Instead she heads over to House 10 as soon as she gets the news. Winry expects Haruhi to be on the roof, but she'll knock at the door anyway. To be polite!

Shiki being gone... This is a big deal if there ever was one for Haruhi.]

[There's no answer to the door - or if there is, it would be Rhyme or Beat. But the two of them are still reeling from Rhyme's death, so they probably aren't probably that attentive or even necessarily in house. Haruhi, for her part, rolls out of her sun chair and makes her way to the edge of the roof. Oh]

Hey.

Up there again?

[She steps away from the door to get a better look.] Can I join you?

Yeah, I don't mind.

[The step ladder's right there next to the door, as always. And Haruhi doesn't go back to her chair, instead sitting cross-legged right there next to the top of the ladder]

[Winry climbs her way up to be next to Haruhi.]

How's the weather up here?

It's not as wet as it's been for a few days now anyway? [With a sigh]]

Yeah a soggy roof wouldn't be a good brooding spot.

Shut up.

[Sigh. She leans back in her chair as if she were tanning or something]

I didn't mean that to poke fun.

Yeah, I know. [No she didn't. But it's just easier to agree with Winry. Even if she'd rather just... argue]

Do you... need anything?

[What a stupid question she can't help but think. But that probably... yes that would be counterproductive as well. So instead she just shakes her head. Need? What would she need? She doesn't even know.]

[Well she's getting something anyway. Winry scoots over to Haruhi's chair, and pulls her into a gentle hug.]

[She hesitates a moment, but... then she works her arms into it too - a huge back. She's not the biggest hugger ever, but. Winry likes it and it's nice. She guesses]

If you ever want to talk, I'm always around to listen.

[She slowly pulls out of the hug.]

I know. [But then... she doesn't really want to talk about it. Or maybe she-- no, not really] I know that.

Fine, but I just needed to say it.

Of course you did! [It's just how she is :T]

Don't yell at me!

Fine.

[She wasn't even arguing. Or trying to. She sighs that out]

But it must feel terrible, right?

[...]

Yeah, of course it does.

You've known her a long time.

Yeah. [What is she even supposed to say there. Of course she did. Two people pulled her out of the funk she was in when the first Kyon left: Shiki to live with her and show her it wasn't that bad, and Winry to be someone she had tentative new feelings for after that. So...]

Is this the first time she has left?

Yeah, it is. [She sighs] Neku's left a bunch of times, and I always had to help Shiki out with that. I guess it's good he's gone too.

So who is left in the house?

Me, Sekai, and then Shiki's friends Beat and Rhyme. [Who she just has to look after now, she guesses. Sigh]

Oh, so you aren't alone. That's good.

[But they're Shiki's friends, not hers. Winry would invite Haruhi to stay with her and Ed, but... that would probably be a bad idea.]

Yeah, I'm not.

[She sighs] ... I'm never going to leave this house, while I'm here. It's mine. [But now that Shiki - who has been in here for what feels like forever now - makes it feel that much larger. Too large] Besides, they're-- younger than me.

Yeah, I... I get that.

[She gently leans in on Haruhi. Just to be together. Touching.]

[Of course she does, Elicia and all. She knows better than Haruhi does by a long shot. She leans into Winry as well, sighing a little. She feels like she should be crying or something. She probably will soon enough]

[Winry begins to softly hum a lullaby. She's not sure if words can help at this point, but at least she can be here for her friend.]

[That's so stupid - but that's a thought which only lasts a moment until she closes her eyes and just decides to listen. Even if she actively knows this baby-ish comfort is stupid, she still loves and appreciates Winry doing it for her. She smiles to herself in spite of it all as a result]

[Honestly there's not much else she can do other than be here for comfort. Baby-ish or not, it's an effective method. Winry's hand reaches out to touch Haruhi's. She'll be here if you need her.]

[Ugh... Her smile remains a moment, but eventually she finally frowns deeper, and balls the hand that Winry is touching into a small fist. She was her best friend. She is her best friend...] I didn't think she'd go home.

Yeah, I didn't think she would either. She had been around for a pretty long time, huh?

Almost as long as me, probably.

Yeah, that's... amazing, actually.

Yeah. I guess she's more amazing, she never went home before now.

I wonder if she'll come back.

Who knows? [Rena] It's probable she will, just probably in months and with different memories.

Maybe. But you don't know that. Sometimes people come back almost the same.

Yeah, but it's rarer unless it's immediate. Or more like two years apart.

Either way there's a chance this might not be the end.

That's just wishful thinking. [A beat, and...] Or just mean spirited, I guess, if you look at it like she shouldn't be here.

Haruhi, why do you actively search for ways to dismantle my attempts to comfort you?

Sorry? ...Sorry! I guess it's just habit. [And she really is sorry, because a part of her does know it makes it difficult for other people this many years after. But it's also her defensive mechanism to let her just pout]

I don't know what else to say.

What do you say? I wouldn't have any good words for if Elicia or Ed went home either.

[Which Elicia will six days from this post. Irony]

[Winry heaves a defeated sigh, and leans on Haruhi again.]

[More to show that she both appreciates and understand Winry's attempts here than anything, Haruhi worms her arm out from under Winry to wrap it around the girl for a side hug thing while they're leaned together. There]

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44th: The Catastrophe of Haruhi Suzumiya

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