godbent | 37th: The Losses of Haruhi Suzumiya

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37th: The Losses of Haruhi Suzumiya

[Voice]

For everyone who knew the idol and the Deputy-Vice Chief of the Brigade, Azusa Miura, I can say confidently that she'd been sent home. I didn't check her apartment yet, but there's a lot of stuff in her Brigade locker here at the HQ. The typical letters Jeez, when did she write all these... for a few people are here for one. [For the people listed here. She expects those who know her to ask or just stop by] You can stop by to pick them up. She's left some other things too, but those are mostly Brigade property.

[And she flips through the items some more before... you know there's no "FOR X" on here, but there are some bookmarks in some of them which say her name on them so.]

...Except these things. Buffy, are you a woman yet? [She doesn't get a filter. The next guy does]

[Filtered to Sanji // 85% Unhackable]

I've got something in particular for you.

[Action]

[So for the last few days, Haruhi was Shiki. That... Was weird. She has decided to make herself as Haruhi as possible. So she's actually going to ignore that aside from maybe her housemates and Minato and sit inside the Brigade HQ all day at the front desk. That event had to be traumatizing for some people, maybe they'll get some clients looking for counseling! ...Finally!

The spelunking trip is in a few days anyway so.

Come on in, step in! Be therapy'd! PS: Brigade To Do List]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ ah! saved by the unexpected question! ]

E-excuse me -- what?

In her locker, Azusa had this. [She holds up a bridal magazine. It might not be clear from a distance, but it has a few post-it notes sticking out of it, one of which has Buffy's name on it]

That's right. I -- oh, crap. I have a bunch more of hers back at the house. I should've...

Should I have brought them? Do you want them?

[ she sounds rather skeptical, herself. ]

Why would I want them? I got dumped because I didn't want to be married, remember?

[she's over the break up. She really and truly is. But around Buffy, who she knows was probably On Winry's Side she can't help but have a bitter note in her voice]

I just thought...'cause of the pictures of Azusa and...

[ ugh. nevermind. buffy reaches for the magazine. ] I'll take care of it.

I have my own pictures.

[She bites her lip. She doesn't release the grip on this one. Or hold it out. She called Buffy over to take the thing off her hands, but not confronted with it, she doesn't really want to relinquish it.

...She weighs that for the better part of twenty seconds before chiding herself and thrusting it towards Buffy's arms]

Y'know -- [ haruhi's hesitation would have been impossible to miss ] -- you can think about it. Everyone deserves a chance to think about it. That's my philosophy.

[ buffy doesn't know if she's talking about the magazines or marriage, now. ]

Thinking doesn't change your instinct, Buffy. I'm old enough to have thought about a lot of things.

Didn't say you weren't. Though...

[ too young, she thinks, to have to make a decision about marriage. hell -- she's nearly twenty-seven and she feels too young! ]

It's not me. I'm not the one doing the hitching. By the way.

Good, that would have been creepy. I know that guy looks and acts young, but I can smell it on him - he's like almost seventeen years older than you, right?

[Blase. Trivially]

Sixteen. But who's counting? [ her, obviously.

and -- more tellingly -- jack. the things he said on his birthday... ]

It's not that dire of a gap. Not really. But -- hey. It's not my job to justify it. [ tired; not combative. ]

Guess it's kind of a stupid reason to dump someone. [ age difference? or being unwilling to marry? one of the two. maybe both. ]

[...She frowns. To herself and then hangs her head. she arms fall, and she then goes to set the bridal magazine back on the counter, half open to a page that has a picture of Azusa on it. She tsks herself and shakes her head]

I've dumped people for dumber reasons. That [Age difference] Is actually a legitimate concern.

[ loose looped arms over her chest. ]

Sixteen's better than a couple hundred. Right? [ ... ] And last I checked, love wasn't supposed to be about rings and pragmatism and planning for the future. If you love someone in the now...

[ well. then maybe age nor marrigiability mattered. ]

Love's a mental illness, so you're right in that respect. Illnesses don't wait around for your priorities or make logical sense. Just look at the likes of Romeo and Juliet, Hikoboshi and Orihime, anyone who was gay before like the 1970s... the fact is, your heart leaps into your throat and you just fall right in. Even a girl like me gets infected sometimes...

[Buffy already knew that. Haruhi isn't looking at the older woman though. Instead, she's leafing the magazine open to look closer at Azusa]

But I don't think life is as generously open as love is by definition.

[ generous? open? nah. love -- and life -- is pain. buffy's just gotten to a point where she can nearly-almost-just-about embrace that pain.

but it doesn't dull the feelings. ]

It was cold -- what she did to you. Cold. But she'll never hear that from me.

[She's not looking at Buffy now, but her eyes widen. She really, really was not expecting to hear that. and frankly, she doesn't know how to react to it.]

[So she builds up indignation from nothing and huffs out a defensive tone, still not really making eye contact with Buffy, but not facing her general direction]

Yeah, well, she was in love with someone else and now they're dating. All's well that ends well.

[Except for her]

You're really hitting the Billy Shakes hard today, aren't ya? [ buffy breaths deep and shuffles her feet but doesn't really move. ] You know -- when I was dumped for being futureless? I had it easy. [ hah. ] He skipped town. Moved away. I didn't have to see him at the worst of it -- the first of it -- and while I think I almost hated him for that, I now know it was better that way.

Because I can only imagine how deep it's gotta cut to regularly see the face of someone who hurt you so bad.

[ it's about as close as she gets to plain-tongued sympathy; it teases at the corner of her voice. almost present. ]

[...Sigh]

She doesn't get it, not really. She didn't then, and she didn't now.

[Or maybe she was being unfair? But sure her, she can be unfair when her heart was broken]

They never do. I think that's the prerogative of being the dumper rather than the dumped. They act like it's all hard for them and -- fine, maybe it is -- but it's not the same.

[ being left behind? sucked. ]

[Haruhi sighs here. She's thinking in the back of her head "I'm really having this emotional talk with Buffy?" But she dismisses that by giving herself something to focus on. That is,s stepping across the room to get some tea going at the kettle station over here. As she does this, more automatic action than anything]

Back in middle school, I must've dumped easily thirty or more losers, you know. I wonder if those idiots got messed up about it? I doubt it.

Oh. They were messed up about it. They must've been; that's what middle school is all about. But by the same token? It probably didn't last past lunch period. But...when it's real?

[ and it must have been real because buffy could even see the reality of it on winry's face when the blonde told her about her intentions. ] When it's real, it's...amazing. And beautiful. And hellish. And like you can't remember how to breathe. And like PMS times a billion.

[ yep. an emotional talk. with buffy summers. and haruhi suzumiya.

someone stop the pigs from flying. ]

Beautiful? [What's beautiful about being dumped, or someone dumping someone? She practically spits that out, thankful she's facing the wall for coffee rather than the other woman]

The being in love part, brainiac. You know. The part before they inevitably haul your heart out from between your ribs.

Oh, yeah.

[She tries really hard to sound blase about that, messing far more than she needs to with the tea leaves]

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