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46th: The Loneliness of Haruhi Suzumiya
[ Haruhi arrives home from the Submarine Trip on later Saturday. She came home, make a little dinner more for herself than for the two younger people she lived with for once, and went to bed. Then she had a lazy Sunday the next day - her only day away from the Brigade, and one where she usually spent it with Winry. And then on Monday... Well, the Brigade room was emptier than even it has been recently. It's not like there was any special fanfare, but the meeting was called short eventually.
...When it comes down to it, Haruhi was beginning to wonder what she was doing. She hadn't been on missions lately. She hadn't seen the Brigade spreading to other enclosures. She had barely done anything in this one if she's honest with herself. No major celebration on Tanabata (just a private one), the original plan for the Cultural Fair was delayed in favor of... pretty much nothing. The Submarine Trip, which she had said would happen by the end of June, happened two days ago. And when even was the last time her Brigade had done something new, interesting, and spontaneous? She can answer that herself, really: not since January, at least.
In January, she had lost Minato - a boy she had been considering trying to love. (Thank you for everything, and take care of yourself.) In May she lost Shiki - the best friend she had in her entire life. Between those she had found again, and lost again, Usagi Tsukino - one of her Luceti Brigade's initial members. Since then she had lost Oswald, Astrid, and Hiccup. All loyal members of her Brigade - friends. Elicia was gone too, as were some others she didn't realize she missed so much until she allowed herself to dwell on them. Xion, Ayumu, Sanji, Azusa... All of these thoughts were in her head as the made the walk to Keiichi Maebara's house, the one he shared with his fiancée (fiancée...). In a sense, perhaps she half-expects the door to have no slack when she opens it, and perhaps she expects to no longer find a trace of the man anywhere in it.
Ah. At least Ange is gone too. ]
[Action]
[Disbelieving her own thoughts, Haruhi manages to step out of the house, but not much further than that. Haruhi makes it about five steps out of House 21 before it all hits her. That of those old people - of the ones who know about Hinamizawa (as far as she knows), of the ones who know that old drama with Shiki, of her and her boys, of all of it... she's the last of them. And this lonesomeness, perhaps, is more devastating than any of their losses individually. She might be turning 21 at the end of the month, but right now, Haruhi feels like a child as she collapses onto her knees and is very aware that she must be crying.
Because it's just so unfair. It is so, so unfair.
--People can run into her there, or when she collects herself enough to go first to Community Building 6 (out in the middle of nowhere, really...) to see Kyon. Or when she finally goes back home, in no real condition and holding no real desire to make dinner. Or en route to any of those locations. Either way, a voice entry follows, her voice very small sounding:]
[Voice]
Leon, you're promoted to Vice-Chief of the Brigade. [ ...She can't muster more than that. She can't muster some big "guys, Keiichi Maebara went home" entry. Much less include Ange in it too. Let someone else do that if they want. Anyone who knows her Brigade will understand from that anyway ]
...You know, the SOS-Brigade I founded a North High was only ever five members. ["When I left home, I was still thinking about expansion" // "That's why I founded one here" ...Neither of those sound right.] The one here in Luceti has seven, right now. But unlike home, I don't know when any of them will vanish. That's how it's always been here, and really, there's a lot more we have to do here- [...Where is her pride, again? She doesn't know. She just swallows it. She stops herself short of just asking for more members. Hell, maybe that's belittling to the ones that are left (left...) right now. Maybe she'll do an ad campaign in the future. Maybe she'll work it into the next big event they do. Maybe a lot of things. For now, she just wants to hug her rooster and leave it at that] -Whatever.
[And with that she ends it. People can make what they will of that.]
...When it comes down to it, Haruhi was beginning to wonder what she was doing. She hadn't been on missions lately. She hadn't seen the Brigade spreading to other enclosures. She had barely done anything in this one if she's honest with herself. No major celebration on Tanabata (just a private one), the original plan for the Cultural Fair was delayed in favor of... pretty much nothing. The Submarine Trip, which she had said would happen by the end of June, happened two days ago. And when even was the last time her Brigade had done something new, interesting, and spontaneous? She can answer that herself, really: not since January, at least.
In January, she had lost Minato - a boy she had been considering trying to love. (Thank you for everything, and take care of yourself.) In May she lost Shiki - the best friend she had in her entire life. Between those she had found again, and lost again, Usagi Tsukino - one of her Luceti Brigade's initial members. Since then she had lost Oswald, Astrid, and Hiccup. All loyal members of her Brigade - friends. Elicia was gone too, as were some others she didn't realize she missed so much until she allowed herself to dwell on them. Xion, Ayumu, Sanji, Azusa... All of these thoughts were in her head as the made the walk to Keiichi Maebara's house, the one he shared with his fiancée (fiancée...). In a sense, perhaps she half-expects the door to have no slack when she opens it, and perhaps she expects to no longer find a trace of the man anywhere in it.
Ah. At least Ange is gone too. ]
[Action]
[Disbelieving her own thoughts, Haruhi manages to step out of the house, but not much further than that. Haruhi makes it about five steps out of House 21 before it all hits her. That of those old people - of the ones who know about Hinamizawa (as far as she knows), of the ones who know that old drama with Shiki, of her and her boys, of all of it... she's the last of them. And this lonesomeness, perhaps, is more devastating than any of their losses individually. She might be turning 21 at the end of the month, but right now, Haruhi feels like a child as she collapses onto her knees and is very aware that she must be crying.
Because it's just so unfair. It is so, so unfair.
--People can run into her there, or when she collects herself enough to go first to Community Building 6 (out in the middle of nowhere, really...) to see Kyon. Or when she finally goes back home, in no real condition and holding no real desire to make dinner. Or en route to any of those locations. Either way, a voice entry follows, her voice very small sounding:]
[Voice]
Leon, you're promoted to Vice-Chief of the Brigade. [ ...She can't muster more than that. She can't muster some big "guys, Keiichi Maebara went home" entry. Much less include Ange in it too. Let someone else do that if they want. Anyone who knows her Brigade will understand from that anyway ]
...You know, the SOS-Brigade I founded a North High was only ever five members. ["When I left home, I was still thinking about expansion" // "That's why I founded one here" ...Neither of those sound right.] The one here in Luceti has seven, right now. But unlike home, I don't know when any of them will vanish. That's how it's always been here, and really, there's a lot more we have to do here- [...Where is her pride, again? She doesn't know. She just swallows it. She stops herself short of just asking for more members. Hell, maybe that's belittling to the ones that are left (left...) right now. Maybe she'll do an ad campaign in the future. Maybe she'll work it into the next big event they do. Maybe a lot of things. For now, she just wants to hug her rooster and leave it at that] -Whatever.
[And with that she ends it. People can make what they will of that.]
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Yeah. She must look really lame now, even if she's trying to reign it in]
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What's wrong, Haruhi?
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[And Minato. And Shiki. And other things.]
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[Their Brigade has become so small lately, hasn't it? No wonder Haruhi is feeling lonely.
Carefully, Grune folds her arms around her friend. They can talk in a little while--or whenever Haruhi feels like it.]
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It's all right. We can stay here for as long as you want.
[She isn't going to figure out why Haruhi doesn't want to have an emotional moment in the middle of a public thoroughfare. Not without a little help, anyway.]
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This is shameful, after all]