godbent | 21st: The Revolution of Haruhi Suzumiya

21st: The Revolution of Haruhi Suzumiya

[Voice]

Okay! Everyone in Luceti more or less stable from that last experiment? Good! Maybe you're not, but we're done with all the apologies and public fallout right, right? And most of the new feathers are in by now.

Well, I'm here today to inform you about the details of a group you guys might not be super familiar with if you're new and might have some misconceptions about if you're not. That's right, I'm here to talk to you about the one and only SOS-Brigade, and what our new and revised Brigade system will be bringing to you guys. That's right, revel in our generosity, because starting now the SOS-Brigade is pooling its talent to more than every be the leg Luceti stands on!

[First things first, put up to the journal's camera is an image of the Brigade's symbol. One that many might find familiar- it's spray-painted onto the sign for the Brigade HQ in the main plaza of town.]

So what is the SOS-Brigade, you guys might wonder? Well, normally, I'd suggest you were living under a rock because we are in the guide, and are Luceti's premiere group of anything related to entertainment over the years and did just put on a wildly successful Equinox festival, but that's actually be a question I've been asking myself lately. "What is the SOS-Brigade here in Luceti?" The Brigade was originally founded back on Earth to solve the mysteries of this world, and we still do that here! But here, a lot of those mysteries just make things more complicated and tiresome and bad - they don't do anything to live up to the name "Spreading Excitement All Over the World with Haruhi Suzumiya Brigade."

So! You want to know what we're about? Well, here's our new mission statement: "To ensure that everyone in Luceti experiences a worthwhile life. The SOS-Brigade will be there to support troubled people in whatever capacity they need to be assisted."

That's right! As of now, we're answering the SOS-es [Haha, she picks up tempo here, amused at her own pun] of the people in this village and setting out to solve their problems! Got love issues, come to us! Got problems with a friend? Come to us! Need friends? Us too! Anything and everything you might need support in we can either provide, or refer you to someone else... who, you know, is better suited for it. [...] Which isn't a lot of things, we're pretty talented!

But the point is, yes, the Brigade is about parties and events and game nights, but more than that, people, it's about people, right? The world can't overflow with fun and be saved with good cheer unless everyone's problems are solved! So come to us with a problem, we'll work it out! Just stop by our HQ and any member of my SOS-Brigade will be more than happy to work with you, and we can then work with, well, you! So that's how it is, answering the SOS of troubled people and ensuring that they actually can have fun here to some extent.

So you hear that Luceti, stop by! ..Also, because of these changes, we're also recruiting! Any potential applicants or people who need a life coach or something, speak up and we'll consider you for being welcomed into the fold.

-Additionally, is Brave Vesperia still around? I need either them or someone else who an work with a large scale carpentry job. Also, Paprika or any other therapist, ring me!

...Oh right, and any questions, ask them now.

Haruhi Suzumiya, over and out!

[The symbol moves now for her to have a big grin at the book]

[Voice // Filtered to the Members of the SOS-Brigade]

O...kay. Changes are out in the open now. Sorry, sorry, kept it under wraps until now. In light of the changes I'm asking for a sound off of everyone who isn't Leon, Keiichi, or Ayumu to speak up so I know if you're still with us for our new image. It might be a bit more demanding, yeah, but things which are rewarding usually are and we'll still have fun with it, promise! Once I know who's doing what, I'll also be appointing our new Vice-Chief and Deputy by the end of the week.

[OOC INTEL: The Brigade's revised information can be seen here. Which can be compared to the current information here. The current information will be replaced in the next few days with the new stuff (but I'll compile it elsewhere in case you want to review the old version for some reason). The Brigade's appointments for incoming requests are here. Admittedly these are major changes, so their implementation might be slow. Any further questions you have though might be directed here.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

[Again with the shut up. Why does she tell him to shut up when she's telling him to talk? What the hell does she want?

That's actually a good question. What does she want? Does she even know? He could ask but... She told him to shut up so he remains silent, glaring back at her. See? He's silent now, what do you want now, Haruhi?]

[If she stares long enough

maybe she can see his soul

yes, let us try for that]

[Would that serve for anything? Staring right back, and still being obedient and silent. See Haruhi? He does exactly what you told him to do and isn't vague and senseless, like always. Like every time she has told him something, no matter what it was...

Keiichi flinches and looks away for a second, great now he has bad memories floating in his mind.]

...Why aren't you saying anything?! Are you stupid?!

[She reacts when he flinches away, shaking his neck again, which in this position will probably bop his head on the floor in motion with the shaking. GOD SO ANNOYING]

[asjkdhakfh GOD DAMNIT HARUHI!! That hurts.]

You told me to shut up!! And stop that! If you want to kill me all you have to do is tell me to die, damnit!

[Struggling to try to protect his head thanks.]

Why the hell would I do that?!

[SLAM! But she stops then, wait did he just-]

[Thank God for stopping, even if she's still there and all.]

You're shaking my neck as if you want it to snap or my head to break against the floor, so what's the difference?!

I'm just being a Bad Cop right now!

Then this is police brutality! I want a lawyer!

A need a name first!

[What the hell are you saying Haruhi, you want a name now?]

I'm not a stool pigeon! I'm not talking without a good deal.

You don't get a deal, punk! Your deal's that I'm not locking you up already!

Too bad, you can lock me up whenever you want, Miss.

[What is he even saying.]

[Finger jab!]

Sexual harassment!

It's you who assaulted me while shopping.

[And he doesn't even have to try to twist it in his favor.]

You're the one more turned on right now.

Sure, getting my head slammed against the floor is a huge turn on.

[Sighs.]

Did you really want to get something here or was it just a trap to ask me weird questions?

I want to get why you sounded weird. Why are you agreeing with me so much?

... Would you prefer if I disagreed with you?

I would prefer if you sounded normal.

[Part of him wants to ask what her definition of normal is, but she didn't give a definition for weird either. Keiichi sighs.]

Fine, I'll try to not sound weird.

[Even though he still doesn't know why she says he sounded weird... No, he knows pretty well why is it, but acknowledging it will just bring more problems.]

How about this? Next time I sound weird, you punch me.

[Joking a bit, hopefully now this conversation will be left alone.]

That's not causation. We're counselors now, remember?

Yes, but we're friends before that, aren't we?

[Ironic words for the one who has been making sure his only relation with her was as a member of the Brigade, but he won't deny they are friends. He just doesn't want to become better friends or anything, they have enough on their plates as things are.]

A friend would punch another if they are being weird with no reason.

A friend would be a...?

[...] Actually...

[... He didn't expect that. He eyes her suspiciously, what's in your mind, Haruhi?]

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