godbent | 36th: The of Experience Haruhi Suzumiya

[Voice // Filtered to the SOS-Brigade]

[Inhale... exhale. She's not saying this in person at a meeting solely because she's... well, she feels somewhat awkward to be saying this. So-]

Attention, SOS-Brigade! I... have something to tell you all.

You probably noticed, but with the Kin'coran incident, not all of us were united with our efforts. Azusa and I organized that baseball game, and a lot of you helped, but a lot of you also went out to do your own things. But the thing is, a lot of you who did that also helped people. You contributed, which is within the realms of the expectations of Brigade members. Primarily, of course, the SOS-Brigade is a unified force and that's not about to change! But...

[She bites her lip. Okay. How does she-] But, basically, that's not always practical here. So for all of you who did things which held up the spirit of the Brigade, even not under your Chief's orders, I'm giving you my commendations. Well done.

You see, a lot of the Brigade has gone home. And the... our [Her. Kyon. Itsuki. Mikuru. Yuki.] SOS-Brigade from home, from North High - most of it isn't here. Of course, at North High it wasn't 100% the same objective... probably because I've not seen most of the fantastic things I've seen here. [And she bites her lip again] Anyway. The point is that lots and lots of SOS-Brigade members have been displaced along the way. And some of you [Xion] do have other responsibilities, of course. But basically, what I'm trying to say is...

The SOS-Brigade has reached a point that I expect you all to adhere to our goals and principles even when it's not my orders! Ensure people live worthwhile lives! Ensure that people aren't just slumming through life listless and pointlessly here! And if you're doing that, you're doing your Chief proud! She can't hold it against you! [...Cough]

T-to that end, I'm working on making some SOS-Brigade badges. Not that you need to wear them al--ways. That would just be tacky, even if it would be nice. ...But! I want you to talk to people, particularly people from other enclosures you meet on missions about the principles of the SOS-Brigade, and what we've done! Maybe give them badges and make them honorary members. I'm of course the final say for this enclosure, but I'm trusting the judgement of people I've picked here for other ones.

...And that's all.

[That was mortifying. Sob. Cough] ...Aside from the spelunking trip. [She will have mentioned this in meetings before] Of course, the submarine won't be finished for a while, so we're going to be doing this first. I'm thinking we leave on the seventh or so of October. Objections?! If there are any, you have ten minutes to announce them!

[Voice // Open]

Oh right, if anyone needs flying transportation that the teleporters that Leon of the SOS-Brigade provided with some help from Sokka can't get you to, the SOS-Brigade now has a flying dragon in our coffers. Her name's Isabelle and she'd love the exercise!

[BONUS ACTION: If anyone wants to run into Haruhi jogging around town in the morning or shopping in the afternoon after the meeting you can do either]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Fascinating. Imagine that. Works for every part of the body, just as advertised on the box, right? Well, great, glad we're done with that. Now I'll just remember to keep 100 yards away from the HQ at all times.

Why the HQ? It's at my house, moron. Besides, I'm going to get you off the bad list by the end of the day.

Whatever.

Bad list, huh? You sound like you're going to be Santa Claus this year.

I'm not giving out gifts to everyone based on some moralistic standard. Or an alien.

[Huff. And she takes a step back] But come on, this is cool, be more excited!

Is Santa Claus an alien now?

['Serious question, if you look at it in one light.']

... It's an alarm, isn't it? I mean, I've seen alarms before. I...t is pretty cool that it's a magic alarm, though.

Of course he's an alien! How else could you travel all around the planet in one night?!

He could be an esper.

I'm not sure about that! I mean, espers don't necessarily have flight powers.

Well, they don't necessarily not, either.

Yeah, but aliens have them by definition. Haven't you even heard of Occam's Razor?! It's the same reason we can know for sure that the Loch Ness Monster and ghosts are definitely real, but the likes of yuki-onna might not be!

Uh...

['I don't think that's how Occam's Razor works... I don't think that's even how Gillette razors work.']

But he's supposed to be a human, isn't he? Or humanoid? Isn't it more likely that aliens aren't humanoid?

He's a fat guy with a beard and a full body suit! He could be hiding anything under all that "fat!"

So all fat people are under suspicion of being aliens?

If they also weird skintight clothes all over their body.

... Skin-tight? Since when is...

['You know, now that we're talking about old fat men in skintight suits, maybe I should just leave it before it gets worse.']

Haven't you ever seen pictures?! Those coats are bursting at the steams!

Just because it's a fat person doesn't mean it's skin-tight... I mean, it's not really the right meaning, anyway. Look, so what if he spends money on presents rather than new outfits? I guess.

If he's buying the presents then he's not being economical to begin with. Seriously, doesn't he have an army of short people? Put them to work in factories if you can't just do something smart like use magic to form it into existence.

To be clear, you're advocating for the forced labor of short people here?

If they're already in his domain, they're clearly loyal subjects in the first place.

I don't know. Maybe he hires them and recoups the profits from stealthy marketing and licensing fees from large corporations.

If that was the case, there'd be a bigger conspiracy! More people would have seen him... Unless he was an alien, after all.

I can see we've arrived at an inescapable conclusion.

Exactly! So there's absolutely no room for doubt anymore.

['That is what inescapable conclusion means. Or the opposite of what it means when it's said with thickly-layered sarcasm.']

... Point being, your "good list" and "bad list" are... ['What even are they?']... still weird.

(no subject)

godbent - 2012-12-01 03:08 (UTC) - Expand

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