36th: The of Experience Haruhi Suzumiya

[godbent]

[Voice // Filtered to the SOS-Brigade]

[Inhale... exhale. She's not saying this in person at a meeting solely because she's... well, she feels somewhat awkward to be saying this. So-]

Attention, SOS-Brigade! I... have something to tell you all.

You probably noticed, but with the Kin'coran incident, not all of us were united with our efforts. Azusa and I organized that baseball game, and a lot of you helped, but a lot of you also went out to do your own things. But the thing is, a lot of you who did that also helped people. You contributed, which is within the realms of the expectations of Brigade members. Primarily, of course, the SOS-Brigade is a unified force and that's not about to change! But...

[She bites her lip. Okay. How does she-] But, basically, that's not always practical here. So for all of you who did things which held up the spirit of the Brigade, even not under your Chief's orders, I'm giving you my commendations. Well done.

You see, a lot of the Brigade has gone home. And the... our [Her. Kyon. Itsuki. Mikuru. Yuki.] SOS-Brigade from home, from North High - most of it isn't here. Of course, at North High it wasn't 100% the same objective... probably because I've not seen most of the fantastic things I've seen here. [And she bites her lip again] Anyway. The point is that lots and lots of SOS-Brigade members have been displaced along the way. And some of you [Xion] do have other responsibilities, of course. But basically, what I'm trying to say is...

The SOS-Brigade has reached a point that I expect you all to adhere to our goals and principles even when it's not my orders! Ensure people live worthwhile lives! Ensure that people aren't just slumming through life listless and pointlessly here! And if you're doing that, you're doing your Chief proud! She can't hold it against you! [...Cough]

T-to that end, I'm working on making some SOS-Brigade badges. Not that you need to wear them al--ways. That would just be tacky, even if it would be nice. ...But! I want you to talk to people, particularly people from other enclosures you meet on missions about the principles of the SOS-Brigade, and what we've done! Maybe give them badges and make them honorary members. I'm of course the final say for this enclosure, but I'm trusting the judgement of people I've picked here for other ones.

...And that's all.

[That was mortifying. Sob. Cough] ...Aside from the spelunking trip. [She will have mentioned this in meetings before] Of course, the submarine won't be finished for a while, so we're going to be doing this first. I'm thinking we leave on the seventh or so of October. Objections?! If there are any, you have ten minutes to announce them!

[Voice // Open]

Oh right, if anyone needs flying transportation that the teleporters that Leon of the SOS-Brigade provided with some help from Sokka can't get you to, the SOS-Brigade now has a flying dragon in our coffers. Her name's Isabelle and she'd love the exercise!

[BONUS ACTION: If anyone wants to run into Haruhi jogging around town in the morning or shopping in the afternoon after the meeting you can do either]

Comments

[godbent]

You'll know when you're in a hundred feet of the house. But don't start until a half hour from now, got it?!

[Because she needs to test her Early Warning Incantation. She's tasted her sigils which serve a similar purpose, but they only cover a room and are less universal than this thing. And who better to test it out on than Kyon?! She can just add him to the list of Bad People for the spell.

...Temporarily]

[menial]

Yeah, yeah.

['I've got a bad feeling about this.'

But, sure, okay, how bad could it be.

'Pretty bad.'

He heads in that direction, thirty-five minutes from now, telling himself to be ready for anything.]

[godbent]

[Haruhi's on the porch, waiting for results. But once Kyon's within a hundred feet of house ten, in any direction, a loud alarm, not unlike a fire alarm going out, is going to echo through the entire area of the hundred feet radius. It's loud and annoying and clearly shows there is an intruder.

...Probably is bugging the hell out of the neighbors]

[menial]

['What the f--'...acepalm...

His immediate instinct, after being startled like a moron, is backing out of the hundred-foot radius again. Then he looks at Haruhi looking really smug on the porch and rolls his eyes.]

[godbent]

[And she leaps to her feet, grinning ear to ear and racing towards him, laughing now]

It worked! It worked! Hahah!

[menial]

....So you set up some kind of alarm system? In case of --

Is this for the thief caper...?

[godbent]

Oh, that's a good idea! I was just doing it because my tutor said it was one of the two rituals I had to learn, but this would be useful for it, wouldn't it?

[She considers... Kyon is just outside it, right?

...She goes to yank him by the shirt to pull it his head in, see if any part of his body within the 100 feet works.

It will if it succeeds]

[menial]

[which it obviously will, setting off another spat of sputtering from Kyon.

'Great, now I know what it's like to have a hangover. And in a development surprising to no one, it feels like being grabbed by the shirt by Haruhi.']

--You know, you could have asked!

[godbent]

Shut up, I needed to run some tests! But fine- [And she lets go, so he can stumble back and stop the alarm, so]

Give me your foot then.

[menial]

[and he does stumble back and then brush himself down. more or less perfunctorily.

'Tests, of course. I must have "lab rat" tattooed on my back.']

Why my foot? Why not my hand?

[godbent]

[Well he does have a bar code on the back of his neck....]

Because I want to use a foot first. Now hand it over!

[menial]

['Don't you mean "foot" it over?']

.... Whatever.

[He holds out his foot in an uninspired manner.]

[godbent]

[Hm... she gently cradles the foot and then pulls it forward a bit...]

[menial]

[He grudgingly follows along until--

'Damn that noise!'

It still catches him reflexively just because it's loud, not even unexpected, and he twitches, though his foot stays pretty much in the same place.]

[godbent]

[Aaaand... she pushes the foot back. He's out again. Huh, cool. Quiet]

[menial]

Fascinating. Imagine that. Works for every part of the body, just as advertised on the box, right? Well, great, glad we're done with that. Now I'll just remember to keep 100 yards away from the HQ at all times.

[godbent]

Why the HQ? It's at my house, moron. Besides, I'm going to get you off the bad list by the end of the day.

[menial]

Whatever.

Bad list, huh? You sound like you're going to be Santa Claus this year.

[godbent]

I'm not giving out gifts to everyone based on some moralistic standard. Or an alien.

[Huff. And she takes a step back] But come on, this is cool, be more excited!

[menial]

Is Santa Claus an alien now?

['Serious question, if you look at it in one light.']

... It's an alarm, isn't it? I mean, I've seen alarms before. I...t is pretty cool that it's a magic alarm, though.

[godbent]

Of course he's an alien! How else could you travel all around the planet in one night?!

[menial]

He could be an esper.

[godbent]

I'm not sure about that! I mean, espers don't necessarily have flight powers.

[menial]

Well, they don't necessarily not, either.

[godbent]

Yeah, but aliens have them by definition. Haven't you even heard of Occam's Razor?! It's the same reason we can know for sure that the Loch Ness Monster and ghosts are definitely real, but the likes of yuki-onna might not be!