godbent | 3rd: The Compromise of Haruhi Suzumiya

[Voice]

[For the record, this post takes place in the later evening, following this thread by about an hour or two.

So, earlier, Haruhi got some disturbing news. Or well, she's been getting all sorts of disturbing news for the last two weeks, particularly the second week. It's been two weeks since she returned to Luceti. Here she was gone two months, back home a month had past. And before either of those, she had been in Luceti for two and a half years.

Al was gone. All sorts of people were gone, and even if the individual losses still hurt sometimes, overall, if she had to vocalize it, bar certain painful ones (like Usagi, like Rena, the idea of losing Winry or Shiki or ... others) she had gotten used to the idea that people would sometimes just vanish. She had - before she went home herself - always just told herself that when people returned, not remembering. Those instances where worse, those instances were always worse.

But that wasn't the case right now - or maybe... that was the case to other people. It had gotten hard, particularly in light of what Keiichi showed her after that ~~as yet unthreaded~~ dinner and the letter currently clasped in her hands, to deny the worth of a certain individual she had wanted to deny the meaning of all this time, who she wanted to think was some phantom in everyone else's memories. But... that's irresponsible. It was hurting other people, hurting her, hurting... friends. The Brigade. Winry. Everyone. She couldn't change that, but . . . But she had to do something.]

[From a hiding place (a not particularly good one per say, but a hiding place of the spare room on the second floor of her her house) she begins what she knows will be hard for her to say. She sounds in no way comfortable as she starts with-]

Hey, Luce- [no that's stupid-] everyone I know. Or... yeah, everyone I know, or other people, I don't care! [That got harsh. She's awkward here] Look-! ...Look. Anyone that knew that guy, Haruki Suzumiya that wasn- ... The was... [UGH. The letter in her hand crumples a bit as she pushes it together, awkward] ...Whatever, forget it! Jeez, damn Malnosso. It's not important!

[ ... ... A minute later]

...No. It is important, after all. Look- that guy, I have his- no, I have my own memories, which are basically his except I'm in them and none of you remember it like that. [Dammit dammit she sounds like she's repeating a point. Things she's already said. Dammit. There's a growl of frustration before she slips up out of her chair to pace, leaving the journal on the table but still talking loud enough to be recorded] I have memories, alright?! So I know some of you- a lot of you, I guess. But- [...] But I guess, you guys don't know me. You-

[ARGH. she looks again at the letter and then crumbles it into a ball. She throws it at the floor and then presses on, stopping in place and yelling now]

Some of you liked that guy, right?! Some of you were friends and some of you lo- [gulp-] loved that guy, right?! I'm not that guy- it's been two weeks since I showed too, so unless he Malnosso are bigger assholes than anyone thought I'm not going to be that guy either. [But if she is, if she 'reverts back' next week or tomorrow, this post is meaningless. ...Maybe it still is. But it feels like her heart is breaking and she needs to do something. Even as she stays all this, she feels no catharsis though, only her hollow dread turning into a real fear - a fear, what? Rejection? Probably, but fear of something tangible is better than something she doesn't even know the face]

So- ... So fine, that's that! We're different, alright?! And I was expecting you to forget but- fine! Don't forget him, it doesn't matter! [...UGH. Dammit, she's losing the point again. She crouches, picking up the crumbled ball of the letter]

...I know things can't be the same as I remember them, but I guess things also won't be the same as you remember. I want to just pick up where I left off but that's- [...dammit] That's not completely possible, is it? It's not like I'm a time traveler and can go back and change things and- [...she could change it to everyone remembering her. But that's not fair, even if she did know how to manage it. And last time. She mutters-] ...And Leon would screw it up again

[That might not have even been recorded, but she stands after this, her voice gaining resolve.]

So what I'm saying is that... I'm Haruhi. I'm the Chief of the SOS-Brigade, and- and if you knew that Haruki guy we can start over, starting now! And if you didn't know that guy, then it doesn't matter because I'm me and whatever he said or did doesn't matter to you anyway! ["judge me only as me"]

So, hi everyone, it's nice to meet you! [Should she add "I hope you'll look after me?" ...No, that's just stupid. She should leave it at that.]

[...Should.

She sits down for replies after this, because there's sure to be some. She waits for maybe three minutes before finally concluding that she owes someone else something special. Winry will have heard of it or at least be hearing his opinion on it anyway. Might as well- Well.]

[Filtered to Sokka // 85% Unhackable]

...Hey, I- [...She's not sorry- or is she? No. Yes. No. Mostly no.] I've decided to forgive you for what you said the other day! ...You don't even need to apologize, because- [...] Because starting over, like I said here! So- [...Jeez] ...So just forget about what I did too, alright? I guess it was too much and- It's behind us, got it?!

[... ... ... Yeah that counts as "I'm sorry"]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm still not going on a date with you. I have a girlfriend, you know.

[Folding her arms. Creep]

I know, I know. But I wasn't asking for a date, just as friends, go out, do something. Don't know, I've just missed you and wanted to do something together.

Says the guy breaking into girls houses and pinning them against the wall. If this was one of those delusions perverts like you have you'd have raped me already, you know.

[Challenging... flat. She's not even sure why she's saying it, but she's smirking.]

Yeah, and if I was such a delusional pervert who wants that I would have already tried to. But I haven't and I won't, besides the idea of hurting a girl sits bad on my stomach.

[To prove his point he even walks away a bit.]

If it serves for further insults, I also break into guys houses if I have to.

Yeah, Keiichi, no one wants to hear about your serenading Minato. [Jeez. She slips off the wall and then ruffles her clothes a little, walking back to the table and her journal... and Miu's crumpled note next to it]

I wasn't talking just about Minato though.

[He eyes her carefully as she moves, his eyes falling on the crumpled note briefly.]

Maybe I should have kept that quiet and let you think I only do it with you?

No, that's just creepy. [Sighing, she takes a seat back at the table. She glares at the journal and then shrugs]

[He shrugs too and walks a bit closer but doesn't bother to go to the table or take a seat.]

You okay?

[Dully, she wipes her face with her sleeve. She then sighs] yeah. ...Yeah 'mfine.

[Keiichi sighs and pats her head a bit, ruffling her hair lightly. It's a brief and quick movement though, gone before she can protest, Keiichi focusing randomly in something in the room without saying a word for now.]

[UGH YOU FREAK.]

What was that, jeez.

My answer to your 'fine'.

[Pause as he looks around... Man, it feels strange to be here as a visitor after he was invading their couch for several months. If it wasn't because now there are more of them he may have suggested Rena to return here, at least her.]

You are aware that I'm not going to leave for a while, right?

Yeah, I figured. What if I said I was going to go take a bath though?

[Freak :|]

I'll invade your couch again then and wait until you're done. Unless you want to invite me in or something.

[Laughing, totally not serious but, come on, what kind of question is that?]

But for that we would better take swimsuits and go to the hot springs. And we could tell the others to come as well for that matter.

Who goes to the springs this late? Are you a moron or- no, don't answer that, I already know you're the King of Morons.

[S-sigh. She grunts and then picks up the ball that is Miu's note once more]

What, taking a bath at the hot springs under a starry sky isn't fancy for you? We can go tomorrow then.

[Ignoring your insults.]

Taking one with you sure isn't my idea of fun, anyway!

Which is why we would tell Winry, Minato and the girls to come.

I'd rather go alone with Winry.

So when will you go?

With her or with you? If it's her it's Sunday.

I thought you said you didn't want to go with me~.

[A chuckle.]

Sunday, uhm? Not want it to interfere with the meetings?

Sunday's always been our day. [Subdued. She got shot down for meeting with Winry more than that]

Edited 2011-01-22 17:27 (UTC)

Oh... So that's why she had been waiting for you.

[No wonder she took it even worse than he had expected. Haruki had left the very day that was special for them. Crazy.]

Wait- why she-

Edited 2011-01-23 01:32 (UTC)

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