3rd: The Compromise of Haruhi Suzumiya

[godbent]

[Voice]

[For the record, this post takes place in the later evening, following this thread by about an hour or two.

So, earlier, Haruhi got some disturbing news. Or well, she's been getting all sorts of disturbing news for the last two weeks, particularly the second week. It's been two weeks since she returned to Luceti. Here she was gone two months, back home a month had past. And before either of those, she had been in Luceti for two and a half years.

Al was gone. All sorts of people were gone, and even if the individual losses still hurt sometimes, overall, if she had to vocalize it, bar certain painful ones (like Usagi, like Rena, the idea of losing Winry or Shiki or ... others) she had gotten used to the idea that people would sometimes just vanish. She had - before she went home herself - always just told herself that when people returned, not remembering. Those instances where worse, those instances were always worse.

But that wasn't the case right now - or maybe... that was the case to other people. It had gotten hard, particularly in light of what Keiichi showed her after that as yet unthreaded dinner and the letter currently clasped in her hands, to deny the worth of a certain individual she had wanted to deny the meaning of all this time, who she wanted to think was some phantom in everyone else's memories. But... that's irresponsible. It was hurting other people, hurting her, hurting... friends. The Brigade. Winry. Everyone. She couldn't change that, but . . . But she had to do something.]

[From a hiding place (a not particularly good one per say, but a hiding place of the spare room on the second floor of her her house) she begins what she knows will be hard for her to say. She sounds in no way comfortable as she starts with-]

Hey, Luce- [no that's stupid-] everyone I know. Or... yeah, everyone I know, or other people, I don't care! [That got harsh. She's awkward here] Look-! ...Look. Anyone that knew that guy, Haruki Suzumiya that wasn- ... The was... [UGH. The letter in her hand crumples a bit as she pushes it together, awkward] ...Whatever, forget it! Jeez, damn Malnosso. It's not important!

[ ... ... A minute later]

...No. It is important, after all. Look- that guy, I have his- no, I have my own memories, which are basically his except I'm in them and none of you remember it like that. [Dammit dammit she sounds like she's repeating a point. Things she's already said. Dammit. There's a growl of frustration before she slips up out of her chair to pace, leaving the journal on the table but still talking loud enough to be recorded] I have memories, alright?! So I know some of you- a lot of you, I guess. But- [...] But I guess, you guys don't know me. You-

[ARGH. she looks again at the letter and then crumbles it into a ball. She throws it at the floor and then presses on, stopping in place and yelling now]

Some of you liked that guy, right?! Some of you were friends and some of you lo- [gulp-] loved that guy, right?! I'm not that guy- it's been two weeks since I showed too, so unless he Malnosso are bigger assholes than anyone thought I'm not going to be that guy either. [But if she is, if she 'reverts back' next week or tomorrow, this post is meaningless. ...Maybe it still is. But it feels like her heart is breaking and she needs to do something. Even as she stays all this, she feels no catharsis though, only her hollow dread turning into a real fear - a fear, what? Rejection? Probably, but fear of something tangible is better than something she doesn't even know the face]

So- ... So fine, that's that! We're different, alright?! And I was expecting you to forget but- fine! Don't forget him, it doesn't matter! [...UGH. Dammit, she's losing the point again. She crouches, picking up the crumbled ball of the letter]

...I know things can't be the same as I remember them, but I guess things also won't be the same as you remember. I want to just pick up where I left off but that's- [...dammit] That's not completely possible, is it? It's not like I'm a time traveler and can go back and change things and- [...she could change it to everyone remembering her. But that's not fair, even if she did know how to manage it. And last time. She mutters-] ...And Leon would screw it up again

[That might not have even been recorded, but she stands after this, her voice gaining resolve.]

So what I'm saying is that... I'm Haruhi. I'm the Chief of the SOS-Brigade, and- and if you knew that Haruki guy we can start over, starting now! And if you didn't know that guy, then it doesn't matter because I'm me and whatever he said or did doesn't matter to you anyway! ["judge me only as me"]

So, hi everyone, it's nice to meet you! [Should she add "I hope you'll look after me?" ...No, that's just stupid. She should leave it at that.]

[...Should.

She sits down for replies after this, because there's sure to be some. She waits for maybe three minutes before finally concluding that she owes someone else something special. Winry will have heard of it or at least be hearing his opinion on it anyway. Might as well- Well.]

[Filtered to Sokka // 85% Unhackable]

...Hey, I- [...She's not sorry- or is she? No. Yes. No. Mostly no.] I've decided to forgive you for what you said the other day! ...You don't even need to apologize, because- [...] Because starting over, like I said here! So- [...Jeez] ...So just forget about what I did too, alright? I guess it was too much and- It's behind us, got it?!

[... ... ... Yeah that counts as "I'm sorry"]

Comments

[Filtered]

[markofthewise]

[Frankly, her 'apology' didn't mean much to Sokka. Taken at face value, it was just trying to take what they used to have - or at least what he had with Haruki - back to what it used to be, while shifting the blame on Sokka for not just the fight... but other things as well. And while he did realize he was being a real jerk to her, he hadn't felt particularly guilty about that. At least not initially. Having the negativity drained from him had put some things in perspective. So all in all, he would be tempted to just ignore that. After all, masculine pride is a tricky thing.

Except he listened to everything beforehand. That's less the emotionally confused Haruki he usually knows. This is someone who's struggling with figuring out who they even are, tired of being compared to someone else everyone already knows, and just trying to fit in. Now that's something he can understand. And it's not just because his other incarnations in Luceti have felt the same thing thing. It's more that it's a picture of Sokka's life. Words cannot describe how much he resents the idea he's relating to a Suzumiya.

Ugh, he's going to have to do it. Just suck it up and... treat Haruhi like a new person. Or maybe he could try to treat her like she remembers their relationship being like. With a frustrated groan, he opens his journal back up and pens in a better filter to respond with.]

Yeah, we're good.

[Well, that wasn't so hard.]

[Filtered]

[godbent]

[Really, she expected more resistance. Even the Sokka she remembers was never on great terms with her. Never anyone she thought of as a friend or particularly close. Just someone... that proximity had forced her to know. Objectively, she understands Sokka's predicament, or at least she thinks she does. She's been so judgmental of that 'Kyonko' or that 'Yuuki' or that little clone of Mikuru who was a boy. Just... for not being who she expected.

Wasn't he the same in this instance? And she had overreacted. Or, put more simply, she didn't know how to react, and thus invented some new, inevitably negative reaction]

...Good.

[...She should say more, shouldn't she? ...She should- ... But nothing comes. Well, maybe he will. ...Maybe not. She has to-] ...That's good.

[...Ugh.]

[1week-wizard.livejournal.com]

One would think things like this would be obvious...

[godbent]

[Yes this just belittles how hard that was for her. She doesn't even have the energy for a bombastic response right now, instead she settles for a simple:]

Shut up.

[Voice]

[fyulong]

I think you know where I stand already, but- girl or boy, you're still you.

[Voice]

[godbent]

[Sobs it does mean something to her.

But her response is-]

Yeah, yeah. Of course you'd say something like that.

voice

[ahappylie.livejournal.com]

I see quite a lot happened while I was away. Haruhi-san, is it? It's nice to meet you again.

voice

[godbent]

[...Oh that's- Shinpachi's colleague, one of this Shinsengumi... Oh]

Okita. Ah! ...Yeah, it's been stupid. [...

...] Nice to meet you again too.

[kenpo-kitty.livejournal.com]

So... that's how it is huh? Stupid Malnosso stuff... But... yeah, I get what you're saying.

It's nice to meet you Haruhi. My name's Uriko Nonomura, and I'm a Zoanthrope.

[godbent]

Uriiiiiiko, you don't need to actually give me your name again!

[Ugh this is so embarrassing]

[Voice]

[breaks_destiny]

[So it has finally happened. It wasn't about who was correct or not, or about if the Malnosso were experimenting on people even before they arrived. Haruhi was Haruki, no, she had been Haruki, somehow, and now she was Haruhi. It was simple, so long as he kept the matter simple. It wasn't that different from the situation of Hinamizawa, of himself. The Keiichi that didn't trust his friends and killed them and the Keiichi that protected them and destroyed fate, they were the same, but at the same time they weren't.

Keiichi sighs as he hears Haruhi's struggle.]

Hello. My name's Keiichi Maebara, I'm seventeen, Japanese from a small village named Hinamizawa... And you're one of my best friends. Want to go do something?

[Voice]

[godbent]

You didn't need to actually re-introduce yourself, Keiichi, it was symbolic! Symbolic! Why do you always need to be so dramatic?

[ voice ]

[slatebreaker.livejournal.com]

You, uhm...Haruhi? What do you mean? Who is this he?

[ voice ]

[godbent]

He's nob- [... that was harsh, her voice stops. She shuffles the paper in her hands and then sighs]

...No one you need to worry about. If you don't know who 'he' is it doesn't matter for you.

[ voice ]

[one-green-eye.livejournal.com]

Nice to meet you. [remarked as if he's just flipping through the book. More idle-sounding than it really is. There's something about this specific situation that commands his attention.]

[ voice ]

[godbent]

[You want to be idle? She can bypass idle into downright dismissive]

Yeah, yeah.

[Voice]

[vulcanblazer.livejournal.com]

[Honestly, he had never expected Haruhi to come out with something like this. But more people must've been having a harder time accepting her as a her than he did. ...Well, to some degree, that made sense, given he wasn't nearly as close to Haruki while he had been here compared to others.

Still.]

Well, I think I'll spare you my usual "idiot shounen speech" this one time. You already know what I'm gonna say, and that I mean it.

[You know. That you're you no matter what body they stuck you in.]

[Voice]

[godbent]

[EYEROLL]

Yeah, whatever Adell. At least you grew a quarter of a brain cell, I guess I should thank Luka.

[Fail Filter]

[bamfing]

[Earlier that day, someone left a letter for Haruki Suzumiya. Not just anyone, but a Brigade member who was sent home: their own so-called idol. Not one that Kurt knew particularly well or anything. Still, a letter from a friend she'll never see again, addressed to her male counterpart?

... and then she does this?]

You going to be okay there, chief?

[Legit Filter]

[godbent]

[Oh. It's Kurt. First things first, out of habit as well as delaying the need to answer, she bumps up the filter to something decent and sighs. She then... flops her head on the table next to the book. She stays there for a while, leading to effective silent for his end. And then, finally, she gives a vocal reply]

...Yeah, I'll be fine.

[voice]

[book-of-chaos.livejournal.com]

[Leon's first reaction to the long and rambling speech from Haruhi is to ... facepalm to himself. Was that really necessary, Haruhi?

Okay, maybe it was. Maybe she needed to prove a point. Maybe some people weren't approaching this as logically as he was or as he was trying to. Part of him bristles at the failed expectation that he--or anyone else--would forget Haruki, like he hadn't been there. No matter what anyone said, she couldn't just replace Haruki. She could do the things that he had done, she could have experienced the things he had... But she wasn't Haruki. He couldn't even say the full name of the Brigade without a certain disgust and lingering resentment,now that he wasn't distracted by his initial shock and tiredness. She hadn't done anything to deserve his friendship or loyalty.

But she was trying to be sensitive to others' feelings. In that Suzumiya kind of way. And there was a certain comfortableness to it all--her personality, her actions. They had even fallen into a kind of rhythm with meetings and school and just ... life.

He wonders how disappointed Haruki would be if he saw them now.]

"Hi everyone, it's nice to meet you"?

[voice]

[godbent]

It's a metaphor.

[voice]

[emp3thy]

[Well it looks like she has plenty of angst from everyone else, and he doubts she'd appreciate anything he'd have to say on that subject, so-]

Should we show Keiichi the prequel trilogy?

[voice]

[godbent]

No, we should force him to watch those stupid ewok spinoffs.

[Voice]

[crytearsofjoy.livejournal.com]

Haruhi? Could you help me with something?

[Voice]

[godbent]

[-!]

Ye-yeah, I guess.

[count-gardios.livejournal.com]

[...oh.]

It's very nice to meet you, Haruhi.

[godbent]

Yeah, same here Guy.

[Voice]

[amazingasa1ways.livejournal.com]

[Mitsuru missed Haruhi's first post, and she's actually left speechless after listening to this one. It isn't as hard to accept as it could have been -- the existence of Minako softened the blow a bit. Still, she's having a hard time finding words to say; she and Haruki weren't exactly on good terms when he was sent home.]

At least a reintroduction isn't necessary.

[Voice]

[godbent]

...Oh. Hey, Mitsuru.

video ; 1/2

[symp3thy.livejournal.com]

[Oh she's a tsundere.

But Minako already knew that when Haruki was still around. So there's really only one way to address this, really.]

2/2

[symp3thy.livejournal.com]

[A FIERCE SALUTE.

Or an energetic YATTA! pose - same difference. :V]

Understood, Haruhi-san! It's really nice to meet you, too!

[ nothing, really ]

[markofthebrave]

[This is... almost exactly what she said to Haruhi that first day. And it looks like the other girl more than has her hands full right now, and there's nothing Katara can think of to help her.

So. Good luck.

Man, Katara hates this place]

[ nothing, really ]

[godbent]

[ Yeah whatever girlfriend.

We'll talk later ]

[Voice]

[crisisrain]

Whoa, whoa, wait! Back up a minute! You were a guy?!

[Voice]

[godbent]

[...Oh look, a senile old guy]

No.