3rd: The Compromise of Haruhi Suzumiya

[godbent]

[Voice]

[For the record, this post takes place in the later evening, following this thread by about an hour or two.

So, earlier, Haruhi got some disturbing news. Or well, she's been getting all sorts of disturbing news for the last two weeks, particularly the second week. It's been two weeks since she returned to Luceti. Here she was gone two months, back home a month had past. And before either of those, she had been in Luceti for two and a half years.

Al was gone. All sorts of people were gone, and even if the individual losses still hurt sometimes, overall, if she had to vocalize it, bar certain painful ones (like Usagi, like Rena, the idea of losing Winry or Shiki or ... others) she had gotten used to the idea that people would sometimes just vanish. She had - before she went home herself - always just told herself that when people returned, not remembering. Those instances where worse, those instances were always worse.

But that wasn't the case right now - or maybe... that was the case to other people. It had gotten hard, particularly in light of what Keiichi showed her after that as yet unthreaded dinner and the letter currently clasped in her hands, to deny the worth of a certain individual she had wanted to deny the meaning of all this time, who she wanted to think was some phantom in everyone else's memories. But... that's irresponsible. It was hurting other people, hurting her, hurting... friends. The Brigade. Winry. Everyone. She couldn't change that, but . . . But she had to do something.]

[From a hiding place (a not particularly good one per say, but a hiding place of the spare room on the second floor of her her house) she begins what she knows will be hard for her to say. She sounds in no way comfortable as she starts with-]

Hey, Luce- [no that's stupid-] everyone I know. Or... yeah, everyone I know, or other people, I don't care! [That got harsh. She's awkward here] Look-! ...Look. Anyone that knew that guy, Haruki Suzumiya that wasn- ... The was... [UGH. The letter in her hand crumples a bit as she pushes it together, awkward] ...Whatever, forget it! Jeez, damn Malnosso. It's not important!

[ ... ... A minute later]

...No. It is important, after all. Look- that guy, I have his- no, I have my own memories, which are basically his except I'm in them and none of you remember it like that. [Dammit dammit she sounds like she's repeating a point. Things she's already said. Dammit. There's a growl of frustration before she slips up out of her chair to pace, leaving the journal on the table but still talking loud enough to be recorded] I have memories, alright?! So I know some of you- a lot of you, I guess. But- [...] But I guess, you guys don't know me. You-

[ARGH. she looks again at the letter and then crumbles it into a ball. She throws it at the floor and then presses on, stopping in place and yelling now]

Some of you liked that guy, right?! Some of you were friends and some of you lo- [gulp-] loved that guy, right?! I'm not that guy- it's been two weeks since I showed too, so unless he Malnosso are bigger assholes than anyone thought I'm not going to be that guy either. [But if she is, if she 'reverts back' next week or tomorrow, this post is meaningless. ...Maybe it still is. But it feels like her heart is breaking and she needs to do something. Even as she stays all this, she feels no catharsis though, only her hollow dread turning into a real fear - a fear, what? Rejection? Probably, but fear of something tangible is better than something she doesn't even know the face]

So- ... So fine, that's that! We're different, alright?! And I was expecting you to forget but- fine! Don't forget him, it doesn't matter! [...UGH. Dammit, she's losing the point again. She crouches, picking up the crumbled ball of the letter]

...I know things can't be the same as I remember them, but I guess things also won't be the same as you remember. I want to just pick up where I left off but that's- [...dammit] That's not completely possible, is it? It's not like I'm a time traveler and can go back and change things and- [...she could change it to everyone remembering her. But that's not fair, even if she did know how to manage it. And last time. She mutters-] ...And Leon would screw it up again

[That might not have even been recorded, but she stands after this, her voice gaining resolve.]

So what I'm saying is that... I'm Haruhi. I'm the Chief of the SOS-Brigade, and- and if you knew that Haruki guy we can start over, starting now! And if you didn't know that guy, then it doesn't matter because I'm me and whatever he said or did doesn't matter to you anyway! ["judge me only as me"]

So, hi everyone, it's nice to meet you! [Should she add "I hope you'll look after me?" ...No, that's just stupid. She should leave it at that.]

[...Should.

She sits down for replies after this, because there's sure to be some. She waits for maybe three minutes before finally concluding that she owes someone else something special. Winry will have heard of it or at least be hearing his opinion on it anyway. Might as well- Well.]

[Filtered to Sokka // 85% Unhackable]

...Hey, I- [...She's not sorry- or is she? No. Yes. No. Mostly no.] I've decided to forgive you for what you said the other day! ...You don't even need to apologize, because- [...] Because starting over, like I said here! So- [...Jeez] ...So just forget about what I did too, alright? I guess it was too much and- It's behind us, got it?!

[... ... ... Yeah that counts as "I'm sorry"]

Comments

[Voice]

[breaks_destiny]

Well, you sure are the hope of my universe.

[Wide confident smile.]

1/???

[godbent]

[WHAT]

[godbent]

What... are you...?

[godbent]

[Inhale] WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, KEIICHI?!

[godbent]

Where do you get off saying some cheesy bullshit like that?! Are you a pervert or something- no, don't even answer that, I know you're a pervert! Lolicon! Leech! Molester! Rapist! You probably think you're in some sort H-game, right-?! Well let me tell you there's no way that was a positive flag for me, no way at all- for that matter, what type of girl wants to hear bullshit like that?! Only some stupid hussy which just came out of Hokkaido for the first time and is looking to loose their virginity to the first urchin to say something halfway nice to them, that's what! Do you take me for being something like that, or what?! For that matter, who says you get to decide important things like my role in affairs or what position I might hold or what sort of meaning I have to various people- you're my minion, and minions don't get those sort of rights! For that matter, Keiichi, you're even lower than a minion - I thought you might be akin to some dog I'm keeping around or something but no, no, apparently you're even worse than that! You're seven billion four hundred sixty-eight million five hundred twenty-six thousand three hundred years too soon to be saying things like that to me, or to Rena, or to anyone, for that matter!

Done

[godbent]

[And it ends with... her panting for breath because that was a long rant]

/THREADJACK 1/2

[bamfing]

But Haruhi....

You're the hope of my universe too! [So obviously not taking this seriously.]

/THREADJACK 2/2

[fyulong]

[As if on cue-]

And you're the hope of my universe too!

1/2

[godbent]

[There is a sound, not a real sound but an imaginary one, of glass shattering here.]

2/2

[godbent]

[WHAT] Wha- that- [Pant, pant deep inhale and then-]

Shut up! I'll put all of you six feet under!

[bamfing]

[He should lay off. But this is too much fun.]

I'm not feeling very hopeful anymore, are you Mikage?

[Voice] 1/3

[breaks_destiny]

[Long silence as you recover your breath. Keiichi is about to answer when he hears the others butting in... And changes his mind. He closes the journal and goes off.]

[Action]

[breaks_destiny]

[Minutes later someone enters House 10 and starts checking all the rooms there. Eventually getting to the second floor and Haruhi's hiding place, in which he will march and try to get a hold of her -or corner her against a wall or something- as fast as he can so she has no chance to react.]

Now, listen to me and listen to me closely because I don't want to have to repeat this ever again. So shut up for five minutes and get off your fucking horse.

3/I lied Idk

[breaks_destiny]

[His voice is low, almost hissing as it's too harsh and annoyed to be a whisper.]

We have known each other for close to a fucking year, that's far more than the time I've known Rena and the others, not counting the stupid time loop thing that Hanyuu did. Over all this time I've lost count of all the things you have called me and the times you have belittled me, but it's okay, I don't care about those. I still don't get what's your fucking problem with me and why you need to cling at anything I say and twist it to make me look bad, but I have never cared, because I assumed that you still knew better inside of you.

Seems I was wrong, so I'll make things clear now. You can laugh at me saying that little girls can be as cute as older girls, you can accuse me of being a pervert or whatever you want even if the sole idea makes me what to puke. But never again say that I lie to you, or treat something I say as not real. I have never lied to you in all this time we have known each other and I would never do it.

4/5

[breaks_destiny]

You don't want to be told what your fucking role in my life you have? Shut up, I never asked you to enter my life as if you were a fucking hurricane, and turn my world upside down the way you did. That wasn't a fucking cheesy line, it was the truth. You are the hope of my universe, you are the one in whom I trust the most in this place, as long as you're here I know that the girls will be fine and that I myself will be fine. Because you made yourself be that fucking hope. All the times I've been close to go psycho due the syndrome, the times I was already going psycho, who the fuck was it that made me return? Who brought me back? Without medicines, without almost killing me, without letting me die like a dog and wait for my return a week later? It wasn't Minato. It wasn't Rena. It wasn't even Rika, the great 'queen carrier' of the syndrome. It was you, Haruhi Suzumiya.

The only thing that has kept me sane ever since I returned has been you, you are the only reason why I bother to fight and remain sane even with the girls gone. When you left the only reason why I remained sane was because I didn't accept it! I didn't accept that you were gone! Even as I searched for you and found nothing, even as I delivered the message that you had left, even as I hold a crying Winry beating me because she didn't want you gone! I never accepted it. In my mind I always repeated to myself that you would return, that you would come back, not just another you but the you with the memories and everything. The you who had burst in my life and made herself comfortable there while insulting me, twisting my world as you pleased with no care in the universe in the name of a promise you didn't want to fulfill with me. I never accepted that you were gone for good. Every day, every week, I repeated to myself that you would return and checked the journals looking for you, I kept your things thinking that some sort of karma would make you ping and return demanding them back, I tried to pull the Brigade on hoping that you would enter through the door yelling that we weren't being loyal, I kept you in my mind and kept talking about you expecting you to suddenly appear there, yelling at me to stop thinking about you.

Done

[breaks_destiny]

And the moment you returned, Luceti began to be a good place again. And my hope of being able to live here without going crazy and protect the girls returned too, because you are here again. You are the center of my universe, you are the hope of my universe. Not because I say so, not because it's a cheesy line or a shounen-manga line or whatever you want to make it up to be. It's because you made yourself be so and I'm not going to let you get out of that position just because you have a problem with listening to what I say seriously, you're one year too late to change that.

1/3

[godbent]

[ . . . . . . . ]

2/5

[godbent]

[ . . . ]

3/5

[godbent]

[...She hangs her head here. This is too much.]

4/5

[godbent]

[Is she blushing? Is she in shock? She doesn't know. It doesn't really matter because what can she do? what can she say? She wants to tell him to shu- no she doesn't even want to do that. Some part of her is telling her she has to.

"Shut up"

"Get off"

"Go away"

But none of those are true, none of them at all.]

Done

[godbent]

Don- [And she chokes here, ducking her head. Oh dammit is she starting to cry? She is]

Don't be so nice to me, you fucking idiot.

[Action] 1/2

[breaks_destiny]

[Honestly? Part of him expected her to yell at him again. To kick him or slap him. Insult him, tell him to shut up. Anything. Silence wasn't something he expected. A faint blush in her cheeks wasn't what he expected either. And the start of crying...

He's totally caught off-guard with that.]

Wha- Haru-

[Who's this dere and where is his tsun?!]

Done

[breaks_destiny]

[In the back of his mind he wonders if this may be a trap, an act to get him with the guard down and call him names again... Even if technically she's still insulting him. Now... Does he care? No, he said what he wanted, it's okay now so long as she doesn't doubt his words again.]

You are my best friend, I don't know how to not be nice to you, no matter what you do or what gender you are or what appearance you have. I'm truly an idiot like that.

[She gets a loose hug. Here Haruhi, have his guard down, you can do whatever you want again. It's okay. Just... Stop crying.]

1/2

[godbent]

[In this moment, she... collapses into his chest. She cries there, and is tempted - tempted - to grip onto him. But she resists, hanging limp in his grip and just planting her face into him. Moron. Idiot. Scum. Leech.]

Done

[godbent]

[But then she pulls back. Her head is still hung, but when she pulls her head up it's with a resolute smirk. She cocks her arm back and then, without any further warning, slaps him across the face. Her eyes are still bloodshot from the tears, but-]

Don't you ever corner a girl in a room like this again!